When You Feel Like You've Failed

By Jaynab Akhtar

I’m sure we’ve all been there.  

You study for hours, perhaps even days, for a test, and then don’t do as well as you hoped. You prepare for a job interview, feel like you nailed it, but don’t get a call back. Or you put your heart and soul into a college application, only to be deferred or waitlisted.

Setbacks are never easy to process or deal with. Disappointment and regret, thinking that you aren’t good enough or thinking you could’ve done better, are feelings and thoughts that cross our minds often as we try to move forward and do better next time. Students may just feel these things more intensely than others; one poor grade, and those of us with more colorful imaginations think that this is how it ends. No school, no job, no bright future, all because of a certain letter.

In a society that always expects more and leaves little room for error, it may seem understandable that some of us have difficulty moving past obstacles in our paths, whether these are literal or figurative. But it doesn’t have to be this way. It is human to make mistakes. It is natural that things will not always go as planned, or that some unforeseen circumstances will arise.

It is important to acknowledge this. Avoiding an issue will not make it cease to exist. However painful or difficult it is to face a setback, one must do this in order to move past it. It is equally important to remind yourself that you are not and should not be defined by your mistakes or circumstances. One failed test, one poorly written paper, one lackluster presentation, does not mean that all your efforts are in vain. However cliche this might sound, mistakes are an indication that you are trying, and you’ve come too far to throw the proverbial towel in.

As a college student close to finishing her first year, adjusting to a new environment and academic expectations means that I’ve had my fair share of personal setbacks. Placing into fourth semester of Spanish meant that the whole class was taught and conducted in Spanish, and my classmates all had at least two more years’ worth of exposure to the language than me because their high schools offered it. I was struggling to adjust to the rapid pace and advanced material, but I told myself that my placement into the class meant I could do it. So I pushed myself to practice speaking and writing the language outside of class, whenever I got the chance. My efforts paid off, and I ended up doing very well.

Setbacks haven’t stopped me from pushing forward. Easier said than done, I know, but I think I can safely say that it is a mark of the strength of the human spirit to keep going. No matter how bleak things may seem, encourage yourself to get up and try again. I promise you, it will be worth it.