By Hannah French and Majida Halaweh
I know, I know. Take a deep breath. Perhaps the very words “college interview” have sent you into deep, hyperventilating spirals of despair. That’s why I’m sitting here right now, on this insanely slow laptop, writing this blog. It’s for you, the hyperventilating jittery mess. Here are some quick tips to help you survive the fiery dragon’s den:
Case study: Sarah Money-Maker
Sarah is a law professor at College-Near-Me in My Town. She has invited me to her office for an interview on behalf of Dream School.
1. Breathe and blink. Such seemingly simple advice can, I think, go a long way when applied in practice. If you’ve ever done yoga, you know that breathing is central to maintaining a calm inner center. You’re going to have to maintain a nice, even middle ground on both of these points. You can’t breathe so little that you pass out, but hyperventilating is also very not-cool. You also should not be staring at the interviewer as if he or she is a weeping angel or Christ incarnate, but spastic blinking is going to be a little off putting. So the first step is really just about shutting your stupid, hyperactive brain off a little bit. Let me write you a reality check: your brain does this automatically, 24/7. It’s really okay.
Look! Sarah is exhibiting breathing and blinking behaviors. She is safe to approach.
2. Smiles and eye contact. I think it’s pretty safe for me to swear on my mother’s grave here that your interviewer will not be Medusa or a basilisk or He-who-must-not-be-named. But if you’re really that worried, just listen for subtle hissing noises when you walk in. If you don’t hear them, you’re probably okay to make eye contact. Another thing: please, dear god, do not do that weird teeth-baring grin people sometimes do when they get awkward. Nobody expects you, additionally, to carry out an entire conversation while smiling. It’s just freaky. Please don’t. You can smile when you first meet the guy or gal, and you can smile when they make you laugh.
Smile when Sarah smiles. Sarah has a pleasant face. Perhaps it's her expression. Mimic that. When she glances away at her computer or notepad, it's safe to look hurriedly around for the nearest exit. Keep your hands in your lap. Don't twirl your hair. She's looking again--smile.
3. Represent yourself. This thing about being your best self? Putting your best foot forward? It’s baloney. Hold on—let me explain why. There’s no such thing as a “best self” because you can only ever be one self (unless you have multiple personalities). And that self is going to make mistakes, and ramble, and stutter and say “um”. I’m not saying you shouldn’t work on these things or try to avoid them; I’m saying if you are so conscious of this that it takes you a full ten minutes to make it through a sentence, that’s not your best self. That’s you if you recorded a normal-person interview and replayed it in slooooooow motion. So, talk about the things you’re interested in. Don’t fake-laugh. And don’t worry too much. There’s nothing and nobody interviewers want to talk to more than you. So give it to them.
Sarah seems interested in this book you're describing. Allow yourself to get animated. She's writing it down. She's probably going to check your facts. Or perhaps she just genuinely wants to read it.
4. Learn to drink tea like a British sir. I don’t know why, but interviewers seem to be obsessed with tea and coffee. If they don’t meet you in a coffee shop, it will likely be in their office, and they will likely be taking you for a walk down to the staff room to get some tea or coffee. First, take the drink that’s offered. If nothing else, it gives you something to sip during the awkward silences. Second, you need to be able to drink that tea as primly as if you were sitting with the Queen of England. Nothing looks more proper than calmly sipping tea. It’s good vibes all over the place—and it will keep you warm from the chill of interview-horror.
Sarah doesn't drink tea--a possible point of conversation? "So, how do you feel about...the Boston Tea Party?" "So, are you addicted to Starbucks too?" No--none of that. Take a sip and calm down.
5. The dress code. Honestly, I do not understand interview extremists. If you’re not going down to the basement with your interviewer to paint walls and fix the plumbing, then don’t wear shabby clothing. And if you’re not going to a ballroom with your interviewer to enjoy a night of caviar and dancing, then don’t dress like you’re trying to attract a mate. Please find a happy medium on this. Most importantly, though, be comfortable. Yes, first impressions and all that, appearances count, but your interviewer is not judging you on this. If they are, then a. they are very snobby, and b. you probably don’t want to go to such a judgy school and c. their opinion really doesn’t matter in your admission that much anyway. Plus, the more comfortable you are, the more relaxed you will be, and the better the conversation will go.
Sarah doesn't appear to notice the way your right boot strings are coming loose. She doesn't seem to notice that your necklace is slightly uneven. You've just come in from the winter storm so your hair is probably looking the opposite of blow dried perfection. But she still smiles at you like you're a decent human being. Because you are.
Now for Q&A:
Q: But—but—I can’t talk to people! That would involve…human interaction!
A: Yes. Yes it will. The time has come for you to step outside and realize just how full of strangers the world is. But it’s okay, I promise. Before your friends were friends, they were just strange people. So make a friend.
Q: Appearances aren’t really my friend.
A: And that’s why Nixon lost the election. Better pull it together. Okay, I’m kidding. Think of it this way—if you’ve laughed or smiled at all while reading this, you’re halfway there. Even if you’ve just blinked or breathed (which I’m going to go ahead and assume you have), you’re nearly there. The interviewer knows you’re human.
Q: With which human should I practice my interview?
A: Strangers. In the end, your interviewer is going to ask questions like, “Why X? What do you do for fun?” and such, but…this is a conversation. That’s something you need to be able to hold with a person you are just meeting for the first time. So when you are in line at the grocery store, sitting in the bus, or in any kind of social situation that may require polite interaction, interact politely. Practice friendly exchanges. Make quips. Laugh. Be charming. Be yourself. And if you can do it with the old man buying bread, you can do it with your interviewer.
Special Addition: The Phone Interview
If you live in a less populated land (like Northern Michigan), there is a large likelihood that there are not any alumni from your dream school close enough to give you an in-person interview. The following may be helpful in that type of case.
1. Should I call the interviewer or will they call me?
Odds are the interviewer will contact you via email first and you can ensure that she (or he) has your number, so that she can call you first. So sit down, relax and have you phone ringer turned up nice and loud.
2. My siblings are notorious for getting in loud fights! What do I do?
You should probably hide in a soundproof room with a lock. That should keep the sibling sound down. But seriously, pay attention to background noise. Do not sit down for your call in a room that people tend to wander around in.
3. But magical interview advice gods, how was that even an interview? It felt like a conversation with an old friend.
You want to be comfortable with your interviewer, but be wary of how much so, especially since you cannot see their physical response to your replies. Assume a casually interested expression is maintained on his or her face. The good thing about is that you can still hear their voice so if there is a dramatic change of tone, you may want to rethink what you just said.
4. Make sure you have questions to ask about the aforementioned dream school or the interviewer's experience at the end of the conversation. It will make you seem more interested and invested in attending.
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