by Marie Lachance
 |
| Marie & friends at Brown University |
Hello! My name is Marie
and I am currently a first-year student at Brown University, although I am
originally from Grand Rapids, Michigan. It is incredibly difficult to come to
terms with the fact I have almost completed my first semester of college. Throughout
my entire high school career, I thought of little else than my dreams and
aspirations for college, and sometimes it still feels surreal I am living those
dreams out. Some aspects of college turned out fairly similarly to the way I
imagined them, while other aspects of my experience have been drastically
different than I expected. I recognize I am absolutely no expert on the college
experience, and I still have a remaining 7/8ths of my experience still in front
of me, but here are some of my thoughts regarding my experience here at Brown
thus far. Hopefully they will make you excited, optimistic, and possibly a
little bit nervous for your own college experience.
- Just because you get into college does
not mean you are in anything else. The hardest
aspect of my arrival was the fact I was not at all prepared to be rejected
after finally being accepted. I came in with a strong vision of myself and
who I was: A strong, independent, empathetic, and driven person who
was athletic, good at singing, a strong leader, and had creative
ideas. One by one this list of characteristics were dismantled by being
rejected from various groups. I was rejected from A Cappella, something I
assumed I would be welcomed into. I was one of the slowest people at club
swim practice, an activity I had been doing for the entirety of my life. I
got a 68% on my first test in college, dismantling my identity as a “good
student.” When I engaged in conversations about politics, global issues,
and feminism, I found myself scrambling for originality, and even scared
that somehow I would manage to offend someone with my rhetoric. Overall, I
allowed my failures to shake my identity to its core- which in a way is
the most valuable experience I have had since arriving here. Failure is
not only inevitable; it is essential. Questioning aspects of your identity
rather than allowing them to be assumed and living comfortably in a
possibly outdated vision of yourself is potential. To truly live is to
accept failure, reevaluate what matters most to you, and hone in on the
aspects of yourself that you yourself have formed, not
decisions others have made for you. Get off your high horse and be self
critical- it allows for opportunities to grow.
- Not getting into things is a part of life
(even if it hasn’t been a part of your life until now)-
don’t focus on failure, focus on opportunity. A
continuation of above… If something doesn’t work out, one of two things
will happen. Either A) you will simply move on and realize that it wasn’t
as important of an opportunity as you built it up to be, allowing you to
focus on things you do sincerely care about, or B) you will
immediately realize how much this meant to you, and you will be pushed to
work even harder to ensure it happens in the future. Either are
opportunities for growth, either will form you as a person, either will be
beneficial in the end.
- The freshman 15 is an almost unavoidable,
very real, yet not necessarily bad part of college. As someone
who has struggled with body dysmorphia and an eating disorder for the
majority of her life, I was genuinely more concerned about the infamous
Freshman 15 than I was about the transition to college or making new
friends. At the beginning, I was cautious to only eat salad and fruit and
wraps and avoided the ever-convienent ice cream machine at every cost. I
exercised everyday, and found myself prioritizing running over school work
or even time with friends. However, I soon realized that this was simply
unsustainable, and furthermore unhealthy. In college, yes, I have gained
weight, but I believe I am so much more healthy than I ever was at home.
Being stretched in so many different directions, being presented with so
many incredible opportunities, and meeting new and fascinating people
allows you to think about the life you want to live. I have made the
conscious decision I was too afraid to make in high school; that living a
full life means exercising when it makes me feel good, eating food that
will fuel my body and my body is telling me it needs, and being
unconcerned if my jeans become a little tighter. As long as you are making
healthy decisions, the ice cream machine should not be your enemy, the gym
shouldn’t imprison you.
- Don’t dismiss anything or anyone as
“uncool” or “lame”- simply, don’t think you’re above anything or anyone. The first
week of school there will undoubtedly be many awkward and seemingly “lame”
meet and greets and such, and you may be inclined to skip and find
something “cooler” to do. Trust me, lean into the awkwardness and the
lameness and try your absolute best to be open minded. Here is where you
will meet your best friends, make some of your first memories, and have
the most care-free fun… take advantage of it!
- Talk to people about why they
believe the things they do. Being at Brown is undoubtedly a
liberal bubble. Although it is nice to feel as though your opinions and
values are shared, it sometimes become suffocating. Challenge yourself to
meet and spend time with people who think differently than yourself, no
matter how uncomfortable or challenging it can be. These are the people
you will learn the most from, even inside the classroom.
- You will make a lot of mistakes, it’s
inevitable. What isn’t inevitable is that you will
actually learn from them- try your absolute best to do so. The
transition to college is incredibly drastic. All of a sudden you are
stripped from all comforts and familiarity, and your life will have little
continuity from the one you left behind. All of this means that you will make
mistakes- there’s simply no getting around it. However, mistakes are only
a bad thing if you don’t learn something from them. When you mess up,
really challenge yourself to think about why and how, in order to ensure
it doesn’t happen again.
- Be conscious of your privilege, in
regards to everything. I am incredibly fortunate to lead
the life I do. To attend this school, to have the opportunities I am
presented with, to feel comfortable with my identity. Every once in a
while it is incredibly important to check your privilege and be grateful
for all you have, rather than focus on what you want.
- Go to your TA or office hours. Building
connections and having conversations is where you will learn the most. Just do it.
- Don’t listen to social media telling you
every aspect of your college experience should be fantastic and
instagramable. It’s just not true- there’s no way
for your experience to be “perfect,” and no one else’s is either. It’s
human nature to want to put up an indivisible front, but in reality it’s
okay and perfectly normal to struggle when you arrive at college, for a
plethora of reasons. Don’t let your friends on social media tell you
otherwise!
- Don’t let boys (or anyone) make decisions
for you- be independent & try your best to stay away from distracting
drama. This is much easier said than done, but
make sure that you are truly making decisions that will best benefit
yourself, and work hard to realize when you may be influenced by something
else.
- Get out and EXPLORE. It is so
easy to stay in a comfy bubble on college hill, but no matter where you go
to school, there is an outside world- go explore it! Chances are it’s
cool, so go and see what makes your city great! Bike rides, runs, going out
to eat, shopping- no matter what it is for, it is so important to see more
of the world than what is immediately on your campus.
Hopefully this somehow
helps 😃
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