By Shubhra Mishra
Short essays are scary. I either have too much to say and not enough space or am absolutely clueless about how to write even one of the 200 words. I have some advice for combatting both those problems.
For reference, these are the two short essay prompts for Joyce Ivy:
1. Please reflect on your identity within the context of the community you live in. Do you identify with your community? Why or why not? How could leaving your community for a summer program be transformational? 200 words.
2. Being part of the Joyce Ivy community is more than just receiving a scholarship to participate in a summer program. Alumnae can get involved by fundraising in their communities, serving as mentors to younger Scholars, helping to plan and speak at events, and connecting with our wide network of mentors and supporters. How do you plan to engage with or contribute to the Joyce Ivy community? Why do you think you need a community like this? 200 words.
This is my advice and not necessarily representative of the Foundation’s views.
Breaking the Prompts Down
Let’s start with the latter problem. What do you write if you’re absolutely clueless? While freewriting works for some students, I’m a strong believer in brainstorming before writing. To help with that, I’ve broken down each prompt into a set of mini-steps that’ll hopefully make the essay-writing process more approachable!
via GIPHY
I’d recommend thinking through and jotting some notes down for each question I have under the prompt.
1. Please reflect on your identity within the context of the community you live in. Do you identify with your community? Why or why not? How could leaving your community for a summer program be transformational?
a. Make a list of communities you “live” in. This could be your family, your school, your neighborhood, or anything similar.
b. Think about some characteristics of this community — what do they value? Do you value the same things? (The College Essay Guy’s values list is a good reference.)
c. Are there any specific incidents (that occurred in or outside your community) that make you appreciate similar/different values than your community?
d. If there are any such events, don’t just describe them. Reflect. How did it make you value what you do? Why are these values similar to or different from those of your community?
If you jot some notes down for all those questions, you probably have content for way more than 200 words. We’ll look at how to cut it down in the second half of the article.
2. Being part of the Joyce Ivy community is more than just receiving a scholarship to participate in a summer program. Alumnae can get involved by fundraising in their communities, serving as mentors to younger Scholars, helping to plan and speak at events, and connecting with our wide network of mentors and supporters. How do you plan to engage with or contribute to the Joyce Ivy community? Why do you think you need a community like this?
a. I’d start by reading about how Joyce Ivy began. Then, go through the website and look at what we do besides the Summer Scholars program. Do any of the ways our scholars support each other inspire you? Would you like to start something new in the Scholar community? Here are some things I’ve seen JIF alumnae do:
i. Heard Through The Vine Podcast. First-gen, low-income Summer Scholar alumnae run an educational podcast that aims to break down everything from the Common Application to imposter syndrome through audio storytelling.
ii. Internship and Career nights. Alumnae with internship and/or full-time professional experience describe how they got their role, what they did, any tips, etc.
iii. College selection help. With 100% of Summer Scholars matriculating at selective, four-year institutions, alumnae are more than happy to help high school seniors with their college decisions.
iv. Coffee chats. Periodically, JIF Fellows have virtual coffee chats and catch up with each other.
b. Think about your previous experiences of how you might’ve inspired girls. This doesn’t have to be anything big — it can be as small as teaching your younger cousin something new! Talking about any experience(s) in addition to how you’ll contribute to the Scholar community will perfectly fulfill the prompt.
c. If you don’t have any previous related experiences, that is perfectly fine (I didn’t!) Just focus on how you’d give back to the JIF community and the world as a Summer Scholar.
Cutting Essays Short
Maybe you had a lot to say to begin with or brainstormed and now have an overly lengthy essay. I’m here to help!
1. Highlight any sentences with core values.
2. Highlight any anecdotes that show core values.
3. Highlight any reflective bits in your essay. These could discuss what you learned, what you wish you did differently, or anything of that nature.
4. Things you have highlighted are things you probably don’t want to delete. You might still cut them short.
5. You obviously shouldn’t delete every unhighlighted part, but it’s these parts where you will find content that can be deleted.
6. Put your essay through the Hemingway Editor. I’ve talked about this before, but the Hemingway Editor will point out overly lengthy sentences and any omittable words.
7. Finally, here’s a great post with specific directions on some small fixes that can dramatically improve your writing.
Good luck with the application!
Shubhra Mishra is a senior at Walnut Hills High School in Cincinnati, Ohio. She enjoys reading (current favorite: A Tree Grows in Brooklyn), photography, and baking (carrot cakes, anyone?). She also loves working with kids and occasionally reading kid’s books. Her favorites include some of the classics: The Big Friendly Giant, George’s Marvelous Medicine, and the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series.
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