Image Credits: How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days Movie Poster, Paramount Pictures, United International Pictures
How do you lose anxiety?
Now that’s the multi-million dollar question!
College search anxiety can present itself in a variety of overwhelming questions and thoughts you have towards your college search.
Allow me to help as your very own How-To College Girl. Over a 10-day period, I can provide some strategies that I have personally found helpful in managing my own anxiety.
Who ARE you: This or That?
In order to get to the bottom of this anxiety, get to know more about yourself.
Below is an example of some of the things I thought of when it came to cracking down on some schools. Understanding your likes/dislikes can help you choose one college over another. Take some time to ask, journal, or meditate on these This Or That questions below:
Your answers:
Image Credits: The Ohio State University
If you chose a majority of red answers, you seem to prefer the life of an extra large school comprised of 40-95,000 undergraduate students. Examples of such schools would include the University of Michigan, the University of Central Florida, Liberty University, and Ohio State University.
Image Credits: The University of Washington-Seattle
If you pick slightly more red than green options, you are leaning more towards a large-sized school that has a population of 20-39,000 undergraduate students. Examples include The University of Missouri-Columbia, the University of Nebraska, the University of California, Berkeley, the University of Georgia, the University of Washington-Seattle, and New York University.
Image Credits: The University of Notre Dame
If you picked slightly more green options than red, you prefer enough of a social scene to also want more support from the college’s faculty and staff. A medium school would seem to suit you well with an undergraduate population of 6-19,000 students. Examples include all of the Ivy League Schools, Boston University, the University of Notre Dame, The University of Chicago, and Northwestern University.
Image Credits: Kenyon College
Lastly, if you chose a majority of green answers, you prefer a small school, with a population between 1,000-5,000. Some examples would include Swarthmore College, Flagler College, Bowdoin College, Denison University, Smith College, Rice University, Kenyon College, Lafayette College, and Vassar College.
Today’s Goal
Take some time to virtually view the campus of the schools that seem to align with your answer choices above. Watch Youtube Videos, read alumni articles, and even pull up student reviews (I recommend Niche) regarding the social scene and faculty support that most have observed and experienced. Record in a notebook any thoughts or conclusions from today.
Casting the Net
It's time to start building your list of potential colleges. To alleviate anxiety during the application process, approach it with confidence by recognizing that you will have the first say in where you attend. You don't have to commit right away, so think of it as casting a wide net, similar to fishing - if you don't try, you'll never know what opportunities you might have missed. Research and consider a range of colleges that align with your goals, including safe, target, and reach schools.
SAFE
To identify which schools might be your safest bet, try evaluating them for their high acceptance rates and reasonable financial aid offers. Not only do you want to feel safe knowing you are a great candidate for them (and that they WILL accept you) but make sure the choice is safe for you financially. Local community colleges, public state schools, and a few private colleges could be your safest bets. Observe any possible scholarships, such as an honors/scholars program that can be full-tuition or renewable. The best part about applying to a handful of safe schools are the low, or absolutely free, application fees.
Target
What are you aiming for? Where do you feel you deserve to be, based on your grades, standardized scores, extracurricular activities, and life goals? Target schools likely have 50-65% acceptance rates, but are still high on the tuition price. Compare the type of environment, campus life, and expectations of students that target schools foster.
Reach
In the lottery, fondly referred to as the college application process, reach schools may be your absolute dream school, an elite choice, or a fun bet you have with yourself. The only issue is the high application fees (which can be waived) and the additional application essay questions.
It may feel impossible that you would receive an acceptance, but trust me, nothing is ever impossible. Different colleges distinctly look for their own class of students every year. Sometimes, you may not meet their ideal preferences to help build their incoming cohort, but for someplace else, you’re perfect! That’s why it feels like a lottery. Usually, elite universities don’t require your firstborn or your soul, but they do truly want to give a chance to each and every applicant through the means of a holistic evaluation. In applying to reach schools, the very best thing you can do is to present them with who you are, all that you stand for, and what you bring to their campus.
Today’s Goal
Start building your college list. Begin designating Safe, Target, or Reach titles to colleges you are looking at. Make sure to support your reasonings and record your list in a google doc, excel spreadsheet, or notebook. A great website to rank and read about the statistics of each college can be found at U.S. News & World Report (link: https://www.usnews.com/best-colleges )
Know the Dates!
To reduce anxiety during the college application process, it's important to stay organized by keeping track of application deadlines for each college. By plotting out these dates and setting reminders on your phone or calendar, you can get a better sense of how much time you have to feel comfortable and confident in applying. There are typically three ways to apply to schools: Early Action, Early Decision, and Regular Decision.
Early Action allows you to apply to a smaller pool of applicants and receive a quicker response, with deadlines typically falling between September and November and decisions coming in December or January.
Early Decision is similar to Early Action in terms of deadlines, but if offered a spot, you have already committed to attending that school. While it is not legally binding, there can be complications if you choose not to attend. If you are deferred during the Early Action or Early Decision process, you are put into the pool of students who applied for Regular Decision.
Regular Decision is the last group of applicants to receive a decision, with application deadlines falling between December and early January and decisions coming in March or April. It's important to note that being deferred or waitlisted is not a reflection on you as an applicant, but rather a result of the high volume of applications received by the school.
Today’s Goal
In your notebook, excel spreadsheet, or google doc that you have been using for the past two days, begin adding the application deadlines for each college. Add these due dates to your calendar. Some colleges want you to directly fill out their own website application, whereas, others will list the deadline on the CommonApp.
Register for the Experience
One way to remain active in this process is to register for prospective student webinars, virtual or in-person tours, student panels, and events.
Additionally, colleges may have an interview sign-up option to actually give them an opportunity to match a ame to a face. If you want to increase your odds, of feeling comfortable with the college and them feeling familiar with you, make your presence known!
Today’s Goal
Register for some activities at three (or more) colleges that you can look forward to in the coming weeks! Most events can be found on the college website or with a simple email/phone call to the admissions office. If you are in the area, go so far as to schedule an on-campus visit in the next month or so (registration fills up fast-plan ahead if you want to visit in person). Add the dates to your calendar and prepare any necessary questions or advice you seek from the college admissions team.
Location, Location, Location!
If you could live anywhere, where would you live? The question is as simple as that.
Sometimes, ideas for the perfect college location stem from what we dream of, what is familiar, or what is expected. If you cannot imagine yourself more than 20 miles away from family, then perhaps applying to a school outside of the country is not ideal. However, if you have always dreamt of living somewhere far from home, you may have to focus on the safety of moving to an entirely different state. The college you choose will be the next environment you’ll be living in. You must choose….but choose wisely.
Here are some vital questions you can ask or research regarding the colleges on your list:
What are some of the safety messaging systems that [this University] enables for its students?
How present is campus security? In what ways can students contact security in case of an emergency?
Are first-year students allowed to have a car on campus?
What is parking like for students? How far are the parking lots from the actual residential or school buildings?
What kinds of transportation does this school provide? RTA, bikes, scooters, or busses across campus? What’s it like to ride on such transportation, especially in bad weather? (ask this to actual students for more honest answers!)
Are first-year students (commuters or residents) required to have a meal plan? What kinds of different meal plans are there for students to choose from?
Do the residential units have air conditioning? (most do not, especially if they are really old buildings!)
Do all buildings have elevators? Do the elevators have a good reputation for actually working in residential buildings?
How much is it for laundry services?
Do first-year students have priority for living on campus in a residential unit? Or, are they required to live on campus for the first year?
Do most students live on or off campus?
Where do juniors or seniors typically find housing? (make sure the college won’t just kick you out of living on campus after your first year!)
What do students like to do off campus?
What places off of campus offer great internship or research opportunities for students?
Hopefully, this list of questions helps you to see how your living conditions can and will change from college to college. To better lose this anxiety of choosing which college, remember, the choice is ultimately yours in evaluating each college. You are the one interviewing and evaluating them first. You will choose wisely once you have all the answers you need to make a decision.
GIF Credits: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade 1989
Today’s Goal
As the dates are getting closer to your event registration, begin asking the above questions and more of your own. Write up an entire list of questions that can become your go-to anytime a tour guide or college representative asks if anyone has questions. If you only ask one, that is enough! Many of the answers can be found on the college websites, but for the ones that are not, don’t be afraid to raise your hand and ask!
Major-ly Anxious
Are you experiencing significant anxiety because you haven't decided on a college major yet?
When it comes to college, the ultimate goal is to obtain a degree that showcases your qualifications and aids you in the job search. Instead of fixating on the fields or subjects you feel you can't choose between, try focusing on the one skill that can lead to a degree and allow you to continue learning what you love. As the famous phrase goes, "a jack of all trades is a master of none, but oftentimes better than a master of one." This idea of being a "multipotentialite" is exemplified by figures such as William Shakespeare and Leonardo da Vinci, who dabbled in a variety of fields and occupations. What these two incredible individuals have in common is the ability to explore and pursue their passions in multiple areas.
Image Credits: Heritage Images of Wiliam Shakespeare (Left) and De Agostini via Getty Images (right)
Assuming Shakespeare attended college in modern times, it's possible he would have chosen to major in Creative Writing and minor in Entrepreneurship. He likely would have wanted to develop the skills necessary to interpret literature while also learning how to turn it into a profitable business and a lasting legacy. As for Da Vinci, he may have opted for a major in Mathematics with a minor in Biology, in order to gain the knowledge necessary to pursue his research interests.
Considering the accomplishments of Shakespeare and Da Vinci, it's reasonable to assume that they too would have faced the same dilemma as current college applicants, had they not been aware of their future success. The truth is that a degree should provide you with something valuable in return for your investment of time, money, and effort, whether it's a job, skills, or a chance to pursue your passion. Luckily, double majors, minors, and certification programs exist to help you focus on how to utilize and expand upon your degree. There are endless resources available, such as books and the internet, to help you in your pursuit of knowledge. College is an opportunity to discover yourself, and your major or degree does not define you. Changing your perspective to view your college experience as an opportunity for experimentation and learning can help alleviate the anxiety surrounding this decision.
Today’s Goal
Compile a list of every single one of your interests, hobbies, and passions. Even if you don’t know too much about a subject (like astronomy) but it still sounds fascinating, write it down! However, if you are having trouble, make a list of all things you absolutely detest instead and then slowly build upon things you like. Both ways help to narrow down possibilities.. Next, list occupations next to each of the items you have written down (ex: astronomy—> astronaut). Finally, list the steps you would need to take in order to obtain that occupation (ex: astronomy—> astronaut—>master's degree/doctoral in a STEM field, at least two years of related professional experience obtained after degree completion, or at least 1,000 hours pilot-in-command time on jet aircraft, and be able to pass the NASA long-duration flight astronaut physical (NASA Astronaut Requirements)). Now, you have a list (and the knowledge!) of the career expectations of each of your subjects of interest. Observe how there might be some similarities in requirements for different jobs. However, you don’t have to choose any at all. The only thing, at this period of time right now, is to begin thinking about future possibilities. At times, despite the constant internal deliberation and opinions we have, putting pen to paper can lend a sense of tangibility and realism to our thoughts.
Think Now, Feel Later…right?
Sometimes, anxiety can actually prevent you from thinking about how you feel in the present moment. Are you worried about the future, that you might soon feel angry, hurt, or disappointed in your past self that pushed you through this college application process? What about feeling like you don’t want to disappoint your 8-year-old self, her dream, and the expectations of those around you?
Anxiety can feel like a light flurry of wild thoughts in your head, an overwhelming burden on your shoulders, or a heavy weight of doubt in your stomach. Take a moment to release yourself from those thoughts and give your present self some time to weigh in. Here is a little workout to distance yourself from this anxiety:
Warm-Up:
Look around your room. How do you decorate? What is irreplaceable to you? What would you change? If you walked into your room as a complete stranger (I like to pretend as an FBI agent), what would you conclude about the person merely based on their room?
Make a list of words you would use to describe yourself. Make another list of things you like, places you love, and experiences you always want to remember.
Work-out:
Who is closest to you? Take some time to write questions for each of them about you. Examples can include:
What is my favorite thing to do? Least favorite?
Where do I like to go to decompress? How do you know?
Where do you see me in a year? In a job, college, new place, different country, etc?
If you could assign me any job, major, or degree choice, why would you pick it specifically for me?
Is there any reason why you think I wouldn’t be great at [blank]?
If you could make an entirely new job, just for me, what would it be? What kind of job do you see combining my interests in [blank] and/or [blank]?
Now interview! These people can be your closest friends, family members, close employers or coworkers, teachers, and coaches.
Be sure to interview each person one-on-one in order to get different reactions and responses. If you are stumped on their answers, be sure to ask for additional clarification.
If you would like this exercise in writing, try making a google form for each person to submit on their own. That way, you have their direct words to use in the cool-down.
Cool-Down:
After hosting multiple interviews with different people, compare their answers to the warm-up that you conducted by yourself. How do their answers make you feel about yourself and the way you see yourself? Do you agree or disagree with their answers, and why?
Compare each answer to another. Observe any similarities, key phrases, or things that stick out to you.
Today’s Goal
Complete the above exercise activity. Observe the answers you’ve received and what you have concluded to determine what colleges/majors sound like a good match to you. Taking in other opinions can help relieve you of living inside your own head. Anxiety tends to want the mind isolated, free from the possibility of getting a second opinion. Combat this by practicing open-mindedness of others’ opinions paired afterwards with inner self-reflection.
To Try or Not to Try
Ever hear that voice obviously trying to make you overthink? Is this even worth it? Why try?
It’s an utterance, said under the breath, making you question if it’s right. Why bother applying to colleges that you’re never going to get into? You can’t pay for all these application fees.
Sometimes, you just can’t help the words your anxiety feeds to you. The only thing you can control is how you react to it. Feeling overwhelmed, unprepared, and out of time are symptoms of anxiety beginning to take over. I had to really save up for my application fees. It’s not fun and can feel scary to know that your application is actually an investment. Luckily, most colleges understand the financial burden of application fees and are willing to waive them for you. Make sure to call or email the admissions office to request fee waivers.
However, the best way to combat this little irritating voice is to mentally drown it out. What better way than to listen to a podcast of success stories? Or blast some music that speaks to your soul? Remind yourself why you should still try believing in yourself and in your college applications.
Today’s Goal
Take a listen to some podcasts. I highly recommend the Joyce Ivy Foundation’s very own podcast: Heard Through the Vine! Not only will you receive advice on college and college applications, but you’ll also tune in to hear the uplifting stories from JIF’s alumnae.
Been There, Done That, Got Too Many College T-Shirts!
Feeling burned out before you even start?
Your mind may already feel overwhelmed to the brink of exhaustion. This is anxiety’s doing. But what can you do about it? For starters, where is this exhaustion stemming from? Do most of the colleges in the world make you feel you ought to research them all? Are the deadlines coming up too fast? Have you visited enough schools? Just the entire process itself?
This type of burnout is different from any other because there is no right way to begin searching for your list of colleges you want to apply to. It’s all up to you. Sometimes, anxiety is only reinforced by how you feel you ‘ought’ to do something. By acknowledging this, try seeing this process as a means of getting a new t-shirt. For every college you research, visit, and then add to your list, pretend you are, in return, receiving a college t-shirt (you most likely will if you go on a college tour). Nevertheless, you getting a t-shirt is just one small milestone in this process. They add up in your closet quickly, so there’s no need to rush. The only thing is to actually start. Once you have enough information about each school, similar to seeing t-shirts build up in your closet, you can feel at ease knowing you are still getting things accomplished, no matter the speed at which you’re going, as long as it’s in time to submit your application.
Today’s Goal
There is no need to research 50 colleges in one sitting. But, it is reasonable to do one at a time. Today’s goal is to look at one college. Find reviews and statistics on a variety of sites, register for events, watch student YouTube Videos, look on their website, and go on a virtual campus tour (or schedule it in person). Beginning to do one college a day can, and will, help prove to yourself that it really doesn’t have to be as exhausting as anxiety makes it out to be. There is no rubric or essay report you must write up about each college, but take some time out of your day, each day, to learn about some colleges that really stand out to you. You got this!
Repress or Express?
The biggest thing anxiety ever did was make me feel like I had to repress my emotions in order to remain ‘strong’, ‘indifferent’, and ‘unaffected’ towards my entire college search process.
Submitting my first college application was an emotional rollercoaster. My feelings oscillated between hope and excitement, to dread and nervousness, leaving me feeling unstable. As a high-achiever, I tend to repress my emotions to maintain control, which resulted in me feeling indifferent towards my thirteen applications. I believed that if I didn't feel anything, rejection wouldn't hurt me. However, when I received my first acceptance letter, I couldn't feel happy despite it being a momentous achievement. Looking back, I wish I had been more open about my emotions during the application process. The experience should have been an extension of myself. Learning now that rejection isn't personal, the act of applying and trying is. I now realize the importance of expressing emotions in decision-making, as they help us create meaning and connect with our experiences.
Today’s Goal
Watch College Decision Reaction videos on Youtube. Feeling happy, excited, and/or crying to the reactions can help you feel better about fellow ambitious and high-achieving students sharing their college decisions. Seeing others’ emotions can actually help you feel the happiness and excitement that this process is supposed to bring. No matter what anxiety tells you, being able to express your emotion is the best way to know and feel more like yourself. Opening a college decision letter can be scary and nerve-wracking, but it’s a little moment that always changes and affects you for the better. I would give anything to experience it all over again.
I’m so excited about your soon-to-be or current college search process. I hope this article has been helpful to you in providing 10 days of structured ways to lose anxiety, from someone who’s been there, done that, and yes, you guessed it, got too many college T-shirts.
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